1
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:11,710
High commander's log.
2
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:17,850
Make that former
High commander.
3
00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:20,752
I am writing this
So that future
Generations
4
00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:22,988
Will know
The truth.
5
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:25,323
It all began
Two days ago.
6
00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:27,326
Okay, where's
My shoes?
7
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:30,328
I think I saw one of them
Right over there.
8
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:35,233
Harry received a message
From the big giant head
9
00:00:35,235 --> 00:00:37,335
Saying that I was
To be replaced
10
00:00:37,337 --> 00:00:39,404
The very next night.
11
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:41,907
Cruelly, that was
The very night
12
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:44,142
That mary
Finally said,
13
00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:46,411
"I care about you."
14
00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:49,080
Mary, you understand
My every thought.
15
00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:52,717
I understand.
You've had the milk.
Why buy the cow?
16
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:56,555
No, I want you.
I want the cow.
17
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:02,427
But I was summoned
Into the basement
18
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:05,096
To meet
My replacement.
19
00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:08,533
And here I am
In this encasement.
20
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,535
No.
21
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:15,106
I must make
An erasement.
22
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:23,682
Ignoring all
Military protocol,
23
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:26,585
He confined me
In this invisible box.
24
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,687
( sinister laughter )
25
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,524
( gasps )
26
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,526
Oh, my god!
27
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,695
He's turned me
Into a mime!
28
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:44,135
( sobs )
29
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:49,441
- what's going on in that pan?
- I'm cooking sausages.
30
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,444
Those are links.
I like patties.
31
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,446
- I'm sorry, sir.
- sorry won't do.
32
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:57,615
Press that meat, soldier.
I like my links flat.
33
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,591
Who ate
My strawberries?
34
00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:08,927
- what strawberries?
- I had a pint of
Strawberries in here
35
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,929
With a note
Clearly marked mine.
36
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,597
- I didn't take 'em.
- it wasn't me.
37
00:02:16,102 --> 00:02:18,936
Man, them strawberries
Was good eatin'.
38
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,881
It is becoming
All too clear
39
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:33,151
How my predecessor
Chose to run things.
40
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:36,588
You will find things
To be quite different
Under my command, tommy.
41
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:39,257
Uh, no, I'm harry.
42
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,796
No, I've decided that
From now on you will
Be known as tommy.
43
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:47,165
What about me?
44
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,835
You will be known
As tommy, too.
45
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:53,205
But wait.
Tommy and then the number 2,
Or tommy as well?
46
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:55,440
You will all be
Known as tommy!
47
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,177
- and that's not all.
Lieutenant?
- sir!
48
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,980
- from now on,
You will wear skirts.
- skirts?
49
00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:05,150
Something long
That looks pretty
When you twirl.
50
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:08,720
and stay away from pleats.
you know, nothing too fussy.
51
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,422
Okay.
52
00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:13,525
Furthermore,
When coupons
Arrive in the mail,
53
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:16,561
I get first dibs.
54
00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:19,398
I may open
A box of cereal
To get the prize,
55
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,799
But I do not then
Have to eat...
56
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:23,402
The cereal.
57
00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:29,241
The bathroom has been
Stocked with two kinds
Of toilet paper.
58
00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:31,910
I, and I alone,
59
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,845
Get the quilted kind.
60
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,683
You will go to a barber.
I will go to a stylist.
61
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:41,986
But wait, wait, wait.
We have so much more
Hair than you do.
62
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:45,590
You will never
Mention that again!
63
00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:47,525
Have I made myself
Clear, tommy?
64
00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:50,862
All: yes.
65
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:52,831
( '50s rock music playing )
66
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:24,062
When someone asks you
What time it is,
67
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,731
You do not say
"It's time to die."
68
00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:31,869
- and, uh, where
Do I go for work?
- the university.
69
00:04:31,871 --> 00:04:35,173
Ah. So I run
The university.
70
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:40,044
Not so much run.
You teach a physics class.
71
00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:42,114
I'm a teacher?!
72
00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:45,450
Were all
The janitors'
Jobs taken?
73
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:48,487
Six months on this
Planet, and that's all
My predecessor achieved.
74
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:50,489
How pitiful.
75
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:53,625
He was spending a lot
Of time on that whole
Dr. Albright thing.
76
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:57,228
Ah, yes, mary.
77
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,564
I've got plans
For her.
78
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:07,772
There's my girl.
79
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,842
I feel so pretty.
80
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:15,012
Now pay attention.
I have an assignment
For you.
81
00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:16,948
Lieutenant,
Take this down.
82
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:19,651
I will require
The following items:
83
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:23,855
500 rolls of silver
Reflective duct tape,
84
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:27,025
144 ceramic
Custard cups,
85
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:29,827
One subatomic spectrometer,
And one turkey baster.
86
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:34,532
You see, I am building
The greatest incubator
87
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:36,801
These puny humans
88
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:38,803
Have ever known.
89
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:40,805
And when it
Is completed,
90
00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:44,342
I will spawn
My own private army of--
91
00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,381
Of...
92
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:51,349
Fuzzy easter chicks.
93
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:56,054
What are you looking at?
You have your assignment.
Hop to it!
94
00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:59,891
- can you give us a ride?
- no. The car is mine,
And mine alone.
95
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:02,761
You're humans.
Use your feet.
96
00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:11,169
You know,
I was this close
To kicking his butt.
97
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:13,071
Yeah.
98
00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:16,374
Yeah, I was gonna
Kick his butt,
99
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,210
But, you know,
I figured you'd do it.
100
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:22,513
- well, when he comes back,
I'm kicking his butt.
- all right.
101
00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:24,515
What are you guys
Complaining
About, huh?
102
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:26,751
I deserved his job.
I should be
High commander.
103
00:06:26,753 --> 00:06:29,387
I have the seniority.
I know the territory.
104
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,690
So why wasn't
I promoted, huh?
105
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,725
Because I'm the woman.
Once again,
106
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,726
The woman
Was passed over.
107
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:38,863
- you want me
To kick his butt?
- harry,
108
00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:41,767
There's not going to
Be any butt-kicking.
He is high commander.
109
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:44,335
Like it or not,
We're sworn to follow him.
110
00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:47,672
Anyway, maybe
This mission could use
A little discipline.
111
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:49,841
Yeah, nice skirt,
Tommy.
112
00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:55,813
All right, how do
You work a car?
113
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,618
( thumping )
114
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:02,220
See, it's
The difference
Between good fabric
115
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:05,190
And cheap fabric.
116
00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:07,291
Then again,
My third husband
117
00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:09,293
Liked 'em cheap.
118
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:12,630
Yes, yes, that's
Fascinating.
119
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:14,866
Say, dr. Solomon,
Could you come over
120
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,302
And give me a hand
With my lint trap?
121
00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:21,639
No, I...
122
00:07:21,641 --> 00:07:24,309
I'd love to really,
But I'm afraid
It's impossible.
123
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,478
You see, I have
A bad back.
124
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,547
I think I know why
You're down here.
125
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:31,550
Same reason
My second husband
Used to come down here.
126
00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:33,317
( loud bang )
127
00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:35,987
Bottle of scotch hidden
In the insulation.
128
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:38,156
( banging )
129
00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:40,158
Of course,
I always knew.
130
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,161
The pink fuzz
In his beer
Gave him away.
131
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,430
( banging )
132
00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:47,465
( humming )
133
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,834
( pants )
134
00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:51,802
- mrs. Dubcek.
- mm-hmm.
135
00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:58,976
Yes?
136
00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:01,146
I need you
To do me a favor.
137
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:04,315
Could you go upstairs
And tell sally
138
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,317
That I'm down here?
139
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:09,254
But if you see me
Standing there--
140
00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:11,422
And this is
Very important--
141
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:14,359
Don't say
Anything to me.
142
00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:18,796
Just take sally aside
And whisper it to her.
143
00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:20,798
Whatever you do,
Make sure
144
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,201
I don't hear you.
145
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,605
Come again?
146
00:08:29,776 --> 00:08:32,143
( sighs )
Never mind.
147
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:34,079
( plinks )
148
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,721
( door opens )
149
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:53,998
Stop it.
150
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,500
Okay, here's
The duct tape.
How much do we need?
151
00:08:56,502 --> 00:08:59,470
500 rolls,
Silver reflective.
152
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,539
Okay, well, how
About eight rolls
153
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,708
- of sort of grayish?
- that's fine.
154
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:07,545
What do you think
Dick's doing now?
You know, old dick.
155
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,582
You don't think
They reassigned him to
The brown planet, do you?
156
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:13,151
Ooh...
157
00:09:15,489 --> 00:09:17,555
- dennis!
- tom, sally, harry.
158
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,657
What are you guys
Doing here?
159
00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:23,061
- we just had to pick
Up some duct tape.
- I mean on earth.
160
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,063
Oh. Well, we're
Doing that thing
161
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,432
Where we're supposed
To be a human family.
162
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,434
I dodged
That assignment.
163
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:32,002
We've seen you on tv.
18 rebounds a game.
164
00:09:32,004 --> 00:09:33,771
Don't people
Suspect anything?
165
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:37,775
Look at you--
The hair, the tattoos.
166
00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:39,877
- like you
Could be human.
- yeah.
167
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:44,015
They think I'm weird
Or something.
168
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,717
I hear that.
169
00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:48,286
Listen, dennis,
I gotta ask you.
170
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,288
Madonna--
Where is she from?
171
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,390
- detroit.
- detroit, earth?
172
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:54,058
- get out.
- no.
173
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:56,327
Yeah, she's here.
She's here.
174
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:59,697
- what about
Michael jordan?
- robot.
175
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:03,068
- I told you so. See?
- all right, all right.
176
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:05,503
Well, guys,
I gotta be going.
177
00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:07,805
Proceed boldly
And with stealth.
178
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,975
Jam on.
179
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:27,025
I like
What you've done
With your desk.
180
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:29,093
Would you like me
To do it
181
00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:31,696
To yours?
182
00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:34,766
No.
I like it messy.
183
00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:36,734
Bad girl.
184
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,171
So, dr. Albright,
Refresh my memory.
185
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,173
Have you and I...
186
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:43,808
Had sex yet?
187
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:46,711
Why, yes,
I believe we have.
188
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,181
How was it?
189
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,583
It was... Nice.
190
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:55,453
Next time,
It won't be...
So nice.
191
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:05,262
- what did you do to him?
- I don't know, nina.
192
00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:08,065
Nina, where's
That comprehensive
Course syllabus?
193
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:11,369
You only asked me
To do it 10 minutes ago.
I'm not a machine.
194
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,938
Oh, pity.
195
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,774
What are you doing?
Trying to show off
In front of her?
196
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:18,776
I don't have
To show off.
197
00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:20,678
I just have to...
198
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,714
Show up.
199
00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:26,918
Isn't he naughty?
200
00:11:31,457 --> 00:11:34,292
Old dick would have
Never ordered us out
Onto the roof.
201
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:37,195
Except for that time
He ordered us out
Onto the roof.
202
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,130
Oh, well,
That time, sure.
203
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:44,068
A small fire
Has broken out
In the living room.
204
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:47,338
There's a fire
Extinguisher
Next to the stove.
205
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:52,009
The stove is
In the kitchen.
206
00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:54,779
Obviously.
207
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:56,613
This guy's
Such a hard-ass.
208
00:11:56,615 --> 00:11:59,050
May I remind you
That that hard-ass
Is our high commander?
209
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,885
You're the weapons
Expert.
210
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,187
Isn't there some way
To get rid of him?
211
00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:05,022
No, we're stuck
With him.
212
00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:07,892
We can't just frag him
With a grenade while
He's taking a shower.
213
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:11,329
But listen,
Showers accidentally
Explode all the time.
214
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,731
- I didn't hear that, soldier.
- he said that showers--
215
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,767
Shut up!
216
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:19,270
Thank you very much.
The fire extinguisher
Is now on fire.
217
00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:24,008
- I miss the old dick.
- I miss the old dick, too.
218
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:27,178
Missing him's not going
To bring him back.
219
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:29,314
I will admit that
The old dick's methods
220
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:32,484
Were a little different
Than this dick, but...
221
00:12:32,486 --> 00:12:34,819
It's not up
To us to question
His directives.
222
00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:36,988
He is in command,
And that's that.
223
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:40,358
He's...
224
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,294
He's just mean,
And there's nothing
We can do about it.
225
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:45,129
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
226
00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:47,131
- you're getting
All wet. Stop.
- stop leaking.
227
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:49,133
No, you're right,
You're right.
228
00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:51,469
As dick always
Used to say,
229
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:53,404
Never let 'em
See you leak.
230
00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:58,576
The fire's out of control.
I'll be back in two hours.
231
00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:04,749
I miss dick.
( sobbing )
232
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,152
( sobs )
233
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:18,129
( rings )
234
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,064
What do you want?
235
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,569
( rings )
236
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,504
What do you want?!
237
00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:30,275
( rings )
238
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,777
Stop it.
239
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:34,512
( rings )
240
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,447
Stop it!
241
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,687
Hello.
242
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:45,557
Dr. Albright,
Dinner, my place,
Tonight.
243
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:49,561
- is that an invitation?
- no.
244
00:13:49,563 --> 00:13:51,562
Well...
245
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:54,698
The cat thinks
He has the mouse
By the tail.
246
00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:58,269
Yes, but sometimes
The cat likes to...
247
00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:00,371
Play with his prey
248
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:02,340
Before he goes in
For the kill.
249
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:06,444
Well, the cat
May have claws,
250
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,846
But the mouse
Is quick.
251
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,614
True,
252
00:14:10,616 --> 00:14:13,017
But the mouse
Will always fall
253
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,952
For the cheese.
254
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,990
The cat likes
A little cheese, too.
255
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:21,058
And milk,
And dead birds...
256
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:24,395
But he always
257
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,697
Licks himself clean.
258
00:14:31,971 --> 00:14:33,971
You were asking
Me to dinner?
259
00:14:33,973 --> 00:14:36,140
- uh, yes.
- I'll be there.
260
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,344
( yowls )
261
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:44,548
No, I'm the cat!
262
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,986
Here's the syllabus
That you wanted.
263
00:14:48,988 --> 00:14:51,489
Why, this is
Beautiful, nina.
264
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,424
So...
265
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,359
Exquisitely
Beautiful.
266
00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:57,862
Well, we got a new
Toner cartridge--
267
00:14:57,864 --> 00:14:59,797
Don't be so modest.
268
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:08,239
I'll see you later.
269
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,944
All right.
270
00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:17,782
( class bell rings )
271
00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:31,996
Excuse me.
There must be
Some mistake.
272
00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:34,165
This classroom is mine.
Find your own.
273
00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:38,269
Dr. Solomon,
We were all just
Waiting for our grades.
274
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,805
Oh, grades.
275
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:43,040
I didn't realize
Teaching involved
276
00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:45,309
Evaluation.
277
00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:48,078
Very well.
278
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,114
You need your hair
Straightened.
279
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,816
You're too short
For your face.
280
00:15:52,818 --> 00:15:55,686
You have
A museum-quality
Torso.
281
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:58,589
You... Are harmless.
282
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:00,624
You will be spared
And used to carry
283
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,827
Heavy things.
284
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:05,863
- you--
- dr. Solomon, we meant
Our letter grades.
285
00:16:07,766 --> 00:16:10,101
I've decided
To give you all...
286
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,971
- "D"S.
- we got "D"S.
287
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,907
( all cheering )
288
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:22,513
( applause on tv )
289
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:25,582
Isn't this beautiful?
I mean, look at her,
290
00:16:25,584 --> 00:16:27,818
Reunited with
The birth mother
291
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,855
She never knew.
( sobbing )
292
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:33,857
I love "Ricki lake."
293
00:16:33,859 --> 00:16:37,194
The other day, this woman
Finally came face-to-face
With her stalker.
294
00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:39,430
And he was so sweet,
She agreed
295
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,932
To go out on a date
With him.
296
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:44,202
Hmm, well, maybe if
I went on that show,
297
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:46,403
They would reunite
Me with dick--
298
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:50,641
Johnson.
299
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,877
Dick johnson.
Little dickie johnson.
300
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,812
Stop looking at me.
301
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,650
And who is this
Exquisite creature?
302
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:03,487
Uh... Maybe you'd
Better go downstairs,
Mrs. Dubcek.
303
00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:05,389
Mrs. Dubcek.
304
00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:08,526
I will see you later,
Mrs. Dubcek.
305
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:18,936
( yowls )
306
00:17:22,641 --> 00:17:24,641
Turn that
Rubbish off.
307
00:17:24,643 --> 00:17:27,078
From now on,
We watch only golf.
308
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:31,615
But I was going to watch
"The jerry springer show."
309
00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:36,587
Transmission incoming
From the big giant head.
310
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,090
Warning, warning!
311
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:41,125
Danger, danger!
312
00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:43,126
Due to
A clerical error,
313
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:46,430
Your high commander
May have been
Accidentally replaced
314
00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:49,066
By a disgruntled
Former employee
315
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,068
Of the big giant head.
316
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,070
He should be
Considered armed
317
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,106
And extremely
Unpleasant.
318
00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:58,376
And remember,
When you're thinking
Of giant heads,
319
00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,611
Think of the big
Giant head.
320
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:05,216
Resume normal
Functions in three,
321
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,218
Two, one.
322
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,694
All right,
What was it?
323
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:18,695
- wrong number.
- oh.
324
00:18:18,697 --> 00:18:20,631
( chuckling )
325
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:30,674
Now shut up
And get me that
Turkey baster!
326
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:36,514
Why don't you make me
Get the turkey baster?
327
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:47,858
Two.
♪ oh, her name
Was lola ♪
328
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,860
♪ she was a showgirl ♪
329
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:51,729
♪ with yellow feathers
In her hair ♪
330
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,731
♪ and a dress cut
Down to there ♪
331
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:57,134
♪ she would merengue ♪
Hi, old dick.
332
00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,537
♪ and do
The cha-cha-- ♪
333
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:05,476
- dick!
- harry!
334
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,745
- oh!
- oh!
335
00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:10,515
Ow, ow, ow, ow,
336
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:12,449
Ow-ww.
337
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,023
- invisible box?
- yeah.
338
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,291
Oh.
339
00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:24,695
Tommy!
Tommy! Tommy!
340
00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:28,265
- yes?
- what is the meaning of this?
341
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:30,935
I distinctly asked for
Reflective duct tape.
342
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:33,770
Oh, about that, see,
That was all they had.
343
00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:36,941
( scoffs )
Typical. Did you get
The custard cups?
344
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:39,376
We didn't
So much get them
345
00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:41,345
As failed
To get them, sir.
346
00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:45,616
Did you try jenny's
Restaurant supply
On fifth street?
347
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:48,485
- they're not open
To the general public.
- oh.
348
00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:52,456
That's right.
Can't let just
Anyone make custard.
349
00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:54,458
No, of course not,
Not on this planet.
350
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:57,161
No, no, that would
Be too simple.
351
00:19:57,163 --> 00:20:00,131
No, we have retail,
And we have wholesale.
352
00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:02,767
We have pink packets
And blue packets,
353
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,768
Republicans
And democrats,
354
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:07,270
And the party that
Crazy midget started.
355
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:15,713
So many choices.
356
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:18,281
How they all love
Their free will.
357
00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:21,585
Everybody has
A different point of view.
358
00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:24,388
There should be only
One point of view--
359
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,057
My point of view.
360
00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:32,096
Well, I have a message
For these humans.
361
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:34,998
The buffet is
About to close
362
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,934
Forever.
363
00:20:38,171 --> 00:20:40,204
( maniacal laughter )
364
00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:49,447
( panting )
365
00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:52,716
- ( whimpers )
- what is it, boy?
366
00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:58,689
I think he wants us
To follow him.
367
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,695
- dick!
- dick!
368
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:07,831
Sally! No, look out!
There's an invisible--
369
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:10,267
- an invisible--
- ( grunts )
370
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,903
( both groan )
371
00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:14,972
Oh, you guys,
372
00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:16,907
There's
An invisible box.
373
00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:25,850
( '50s rock music playing )